Decline and Fall.

Evelyn Waugh is the Anna Faris of literature. Stuff falls broadly under the comedy blanket, but a good fall comedy fall is a good comedy fall, no matter what the experts say. Today I finished off Decline and Fall. It's good, read it. It's strongest in it's first third.

"I suppose the first thing I ought to do is get your names clear. What is your name?" he [Paul} asked, turning to the first boy.
"Tangent, sir."
"And yours?"
"Tangent, sir," said the next boy. Pauls heart sank.
"But you can't both be called Tangent".
"No, sir, I'm Tangent. He's just trying to be funny".
"I like that. Me trying to be funny! Please sir, I'm Tangent, sir; really I am.
"If it comes to that, " said Master Clutterbuck from the back of the room, "there is only one Tangent here, and that is me, anyone else can jolly well go to blazes".
Paul felt desperate.
"Well, is there anyone here who isn't Tangent?"
Four or five voices instantly arose.
"I'm not sir; I'm not tangent.I wouldn't be called Tangent, sir"
In a few seconds the room had become divided in to two parties: those who were Tangent, and those who were not. Blows were already being exchanged, when the door opened and Grimes came in. There was a slight hush.
"I thought you might like want this", he said, handing Paul a walking stick "and if you take my advice you'll give them something to do".
He went out; and Paul, firmly grasping the walking stick, faced his form.
"Listen", he said. "I don't care a damn what any of you are called, but if theres another word from you I shall keep you in all afternoon".
"You can't keep me in", said Clutterbuck, "I'm going for a walk with Captain Grimes".
"Then I shall very well nearly kill you with this stick. Meanwhile, you shall all write an essay on 'Self-indulgence'. There will be a prize of half-a-crown for the longest essay, irrespective of any possible merit".
From then onwards all was silence until breaktime.