Your baby need styling?

I got Kaydence dressed today. Ceri-Mummy just sighed...

How to make books.

Draw some killer pictures, as requested (for those not in the know, the rat-pig thing on the far left is Winston, a chinchilla, and my room-mate).

Get your leading colourist to lay it down.


Hole-punch and tie it all together with a jaunty cardboard cover, et vwah-lah...

How can I service you today?

My Dad wants to know if I want to go sailing with him, for two months, in the Caribbean.

As I walked down Maidenhead High Street, listening to young mothers hitting their children, with rain pouring down the back of my neck, on my way to my interview at the local CD shop (once Our Price, formerly HMV, short lived Virgin, now a Zavvi), I thought... yeah, now that sounds like a good deal.

Seriously, where do I sign up?

Decline and Fall.

Evelyn Waugh is the Anna Faris of literature. Stuff falls broadly under the comedy blanket, but a good fall comedy fall is a good comedy fall, no matter what the experts say. Today I finished off Decline and Fall. It's good, read it. It's strongest in it's first third.

"I suppose the first thing I ought to do is get your names clear. What is your name?" he [Paul} asked, turning to the first boy.
"Tangent, sir."
"And yours?"
"Tangent, sir," said the next boy. Pauls heart sank.
"But you can't both be called Tangent".
"No, sir, I'm Tangent. He's just trying to be funny".
"I like that. Me trying to be funny! Please sir, I'm Tangent, sir; really I am.
"If it comes to that, " said Master Clutterbuck from the back of the room, "there is only one Tangent here, and that is me, anyone else can jolly well go to blazes".
Paul felt desperate.
"Well, is there anyone here who isn't Tangent?"
Four or five voices instantly arose.
"I'm not sir; I'm not tangent.I wouldn't be called Tangent, sir"
In a few seconds the room had become divided in to two parties: those who were Tangent, and those who were not. Blows were already being exchanged, when the door opened and Grimes came in. There was a slight hush.
"I thought you might like want this", he said, handing Paul a walking stick "and if you take my advice you'll give them something to do".
He went out; and Paul, firmly grasping the walking stick, faced his form.
"Listen", he said. "I don't care a damn what any of you are called, but if theres another word from you I shall keep you in all afternoon".
"You can't keep me in", said Clutterbuck, "I'm going for a walk with Captain Grimes".
"Then I shall very well nearly kill you with this stick. Meanwhile, you shall all write an essay on 'Self-indulgence'. There will be a prize of half-a-crown for the longest essay, irrespective of any possible merit".
From then onwards all was silence until breaktime.

Johnny Dreams of Plastic?

My friend and fellow lone-blogging wolf Simon wrote this comic strip, based on an experience he had at his work.
So I wrote this.




As I'm not working at the moment, I don't have any experiences at work. However, today I dropped a bottle of Calpol on the kitchen floor. Calpol is a children's medicine that doesn't do much except reduce fever and taste of sugar, sugar and strawberry syrup. Kids go crazy for it, and in turn it makes them a little crazy. Theres liters of the stuff here. Its a viscous substance, shimmers in the light and it very hard to clear up. Also the bottle breaks in a manner of interesting ways. Shouldn't it be plastic?

Blah. Teh. Meh.

You think about things a lot less when your foremost companion is a three-year-old. Today we baked cakes and pretended to be various modes of transport. Then I popped up Norden Farm to check out some jazz. An old dude told me about his post-war days playing trombone and jiving at the 100 club. I was well jealous.

Sticking and Gluing 2. Stick Harder!

Kaydence and I made this sign today for her bedroom door. I did the letters (!), my favorite being the 'Y'. I am also proud that Spiderman got such good billing. I also tried to explain that the letter 'C' was blue, which is the same colour as 'the sea'. Then I tried to explain why this was interesting, but then couldn't remember if it was a homophone or what, so I just made splashing noises for a while. Kaydence unimpressed by my attempt at invoking a marine wonderland with only my voice and my heart. Imbecile.

Sticking and Gluing

Today, Kaydence and I did sticking and gluing. We made this cool box. The coolness of the box was overshadowed somewhat when I let her play with the big scissors. Kick-ass box soon forgotten.

Things I've learned about childcare from my sister #1

It is perfectly acceptable for a three-year-old, when not sticking or gluing, to watch up to eight hours of television a day, provided it's the Disney Channel*. If my sister even gets a hint that Kaydence is about to watch, say, Buffy the Vampire Slayer with me, all hell breaks loose (appropriately enough). Say what you want, Ces, but when the Hellmouth apocalypse rears its heavily-prosthetic-ed head, do you want a daughter whose able to assist the team and provide pithy quips, or whose only contribution is to suggest that we get out the Mouseket-tools?
Think on, Ceri. Think on.

*The only thing, the only thing worth watching that Kaydence is allowed to watch is a programme called My Friend Rabbit. The theme song is lovely and the animation (actual art work, not 3D primary-coloured nastiness) is gorgeous. Rock on Rabbit, and your quirky duckling friends.

The libary! The place where books are free!

http://www.scarygoround.com/

Tuesday is Libary Day, of course. Today I am returning the following.

Words

In Dubious Battle, John Steinbeck - is here.

The Ordeal of Gilbert Pinfold, Evelyn Waugh - "A disquieting, sharply comic novel which recounts a period of mental breakdown in the life of Gilbert Pinfold, inspired by Waughs period of what he calls his 'late lunacy'. This was weird and intense and sharp. Good though.

The Heart is a Lonley Hunter, Carson McCullers - Focuses on a deaf mute and the people he encounters in a 1930s mill town in Georgia. It created a literary sensation on publication, rising to the top of the bestseller lists in 1940 and was the first in a string of works by McCullers to give voice to the rejected, mistreated and oppressed. This was great, apart from the sad doctor and his boring daughter. I look forward to reading more.

A Spot of Bother, Mark Haddon - the second adult novel by the author of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. More mental health issues and family values. This went on and on and on and had very little point. It could have happily been 100 pages shorter

Words and Pictures

The Museam Vaults, Marc-Antoine Mathieu - This is one of the greatest books I have ever read, ever. Totally beautiful, provoking and inspiring. I would love to read it in French.

The Best of American Splendor (2005), Harvey Pekar (and friends) - The usual from the usual suspects. Still good though.

Listen to Yourself.

How supergreat is this? Its from the algorith-tastic http://www.xkcd.com/



And is has led us to this nifty gadget on Youtube...

Heres some of how that all happened... oh comput-y giggles.

Tim Minchin - Are You Ready?

Last night I had one of the most enjoyable evenings I have had in a long time. While I may moan that I have moved to a town suffering some kind og culture-crunch, Maidenhead does have a rather nice Arts Center, thanks to £10 bagillion of lottery money it was awarded in 1999. The Arts Center was built in a set of old farm buildings next to the Sixth Form college I went to, and I used to do volunteer work there in the evenings. Now that I'm back in town, I'm back at the farm. Its a good place to work, having two theatre spaces and a cinema.

So last night Tim Minchin was performing his Edinburgh show "Ready for This?" in the big theatre down the farm. Tims show sold out across its Edinburgh run, and had some great reviews. My parents went to see it and loved it, but they laugh at everything. I'm not even sure if I like comedy, and I really don't make as much effort to go to stand-up stuff as I could. I'm generally worried that the pressure of expecting something to be funny will be too much for me, and I'll crack under said pressure and end up dissecting every joke, or, due to the fact that I sometimes find the oddest things funny beyond belief, I will end up laughing myself to near asphyxiation at, well, nothing really. Like when I nearly died at Kings Cross because Sam said "smelly mess" in a sentence.

I've not seen that much comedy, as a direct result of these two factors. The only comedian I have actively made an effort to go and see in the past was Dylan Moran, and while hes probably not the funniest chap in the world, hes just the kind of person I really enjoy spending time with. Working in Edinburgh the past two summers has put my comedy watching numbers through the roof (compared to the pre-Edinburgh count of (1). David O'Doherty is wonderful, Rick Shaperio is crazed, I've seen some mental Canadian comedian leap off stage and punch a cellist in the head, Jim Jeffries made me laugh a fair bit. I don't think I've ever seen a female comedian live, apart from at work (the supremely awful Marisa, and the quite funny-ish Judy Batalion, who was Jewish).

But Minchin... whats the deal with him? The deal is he's wonderful, and if you get a chance then certainly go and sit in his audience for a few hours. His comedy is full of whimsy, puns and digs at the things it feels good to dislike, like war, crooked politics and aromatherapy. Hes a reasonably talented musician, his comedy songs are glorious, and he has a wonderful singing voice. I think he shines in his stand-up moments, but the whole thing is like watching a wonderful mix of Rufus Wainwright and a well-medicated Bill Hicks.

You can watch some of his songs here on the youtube, and there isn't a mix-tape in the world that should be considered complete without his masterful musical work "If I Didn't have You" or his spoken work epic "Storm" or, my personal favorite (because I really bears) "Bears Don't Dig on Dancing". Don't be put off by his hair, its part of the game.

Thank you very much Mr Minchin. You're welcome round for a pot of tea anytime.

Hello Everybody!

My road trip buddy.
Ceri, Ben and a rouge flamenco dancer.

Something nice.

Living here in Maidenhead has its ups and downs, thats for sure. One of the worst things is having to find a job, because theres buggering nothing to do. At the moment I'm temping at a software company. In the process of procuring this job I had to ask my friend Lucy for a reference. Here is the reference she wrote.

I met Bethan at university five years ago and we have been good friends ever since. I feel that I can personally vouch for her honesty and integrity, as well as her infectious personality and excellent sense of humour. She has been a strong and consistent figure in my life for the past five years and I am glad to call her my friend.

Due to the practical nature of our degree course, I worked with Bethan on a number of projects including creating broadcast packages and making a magazine. She could always be relied on to be creative, productive and was always supportive of other people in any group work we did. She was also a very active member of the student community, often contributing to activities such as the student radio and newspaper, and continues to be very popular among fellow graduates of our course.

I would unreservedly recommend Bethan Hopkins for employment, and, were I recruiting for a position under my current role, would have no reservations about hiring her.

Well I was suitably touched by this, and it did indeed secure me my job, where, amongst other activities, I devote a certain amount of time to reading this, which I really enjoy. Its a little silly, with some campy costumes and a comfortingly familiar storyline, but the artwork is fantastic.