This Flower Situation.

I finished my contract at Hodder last week, and was brought some lovely flowers by my lovely (former) collegues. It was a bright and chipper sunny day, and I left Hodder Towers to stroll down to Charing Cross, where I was working the evening at the 99 Club (A heavily Canadian line-up, including Tommy Campbell, who I insulted by mistake the first time I met him [save that heart-warming story for later])

Anyway, I'm strolling down Tottenham Court Road in the sun, clutching my big fluffy bouquet of flowers, when a lady stops me in the street.

Lady: Do you know where I can buy flowers round here?

(Note, I'm not so good at sudden questions - I flap a lot.Especially when someone asks you where a flower shop is on TC Road where clearly, clearly, theres nothing but mobile phone shops everywhere)

Me: Umm, right. Yes. No. Well, I dont know. Theres a shop. Over there. A Sainsburys. That might sell flowers. It's like, 10 minutes back that way and on the left.

Lady: But not here?

Me: What?

Lady: But you don't know where theres a flower shop here?

Me: Ummm. No? Not really... ummm... Sainsburys.... up the... on the ...

Lady: (Massively exasperated by my inability to assist her with her botanical needs) I only asked you because I can see that you've JUST BOUGHT FLOWERS.

Wait. Back it up Lady... I didnt buy these, I was bought them. Why would you assume that I had to buy my own flowers? What are you implying? What does this mean?

This troubled me somewhat, but was made a lot worse later at work. Lovely Brett Goldstein is a young, hunky non-canadian comedian who was also on the bill that night. As we were clearing up after the show, Lou the AP pointed to my flowers, which I had stuck in a pint of water.

Lou : Oh no... Brett's forgotten his flowers...

Me: What! THOSE ARE MY FLOWERS! WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THEY WERE BRETT'S?

Lou: Jesus...

However, its not been all bad press for flowers. There were a lot of flowers at  Catherine and Rob's wedding. It was the nicest wedding I have ever been to. Here are their rings.