I
I found this in my Dads filofax.
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
Sunday, 5 September 2010
This Flower Situation.
I finished my contract at Hodder last week, and was brought some lovely flowers by my lovely (former) collegues. It was a bright and chipper sunny day, and I left Hodder Towers to stroll down to Charing Cross, where I was working the evening at the 99 Club (A heavily Canadian line-up, including Tommy Campbell, who I insulted by mistake the first time I met him [save that heart-warming story for later])
Anyway, I'm strolling down Tottenham Court Road in the sun, clutching my big fluffy bouquet of flowers, when a lady stops me in the street.
Lady: Do you know where I can buy flowers round here?
(Note, I'm not so good at sudden questions - I flap a lot.Especially when someone asks you where a flower shop is on TC Road where clearly, clearly, theres nothing but mobile phone shops everywhere)
Me: Umm, right. Yes. No. Well, I dont know. Theres a shop. Over there. A Sainsburys. That might sell flowers. It's like, 10 minutes back that way and on the left.
Lady: But not here?
Me: What?
Lady: But you don't know where theres a flower shop here?
Me: Ummm. No? Not really... ummm... Sainsburys.... up the... on the ...
Lady: (Massively exasperated by my inability to assist her with her botanical needs) I only asked you because I can see that you've JUST BOUGHT FLOWERS.
Wait. Back it up Lady... I didnt buy these, I was bought them. Why would you assume that I had to buy my own flowers? What are you implying? What does this mean?
This troubled me somewhat, but was made a lot worse later at work. Lovely Brett Goldstein is a young, hunky non-canadian comedian who was also on the bill that night. As we were clearing up after the show, Lou the AP pointed to my flowers, which I had stuck in a pint of water.
Lou : Oh no... Brett's forgotten his flowers...
Me: What! THOSE ARE MY FLOWERS! WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THEY WERE BRETT'S?
Lou: Jesus...
However, its not been all bad press for flowers. There were a lot of flowers at Catherine and Rob's wedding. It was the nicest wedding I have ever been to. Here are their rings.
Anyway, I'm strolling down Tottenham Court Road in the sun, clutching my big fluffy bouquet of flowers, when a lady stops me in the street.
Lady: Do you know where I can buy flowers round here?
(Note, I'm not so good at sudden questions - I flap a lot.Especially when someone asks you where a flower shop is on TC Road where clearly, clearly, theres nothing but mobile phone shops everywhere)
Me: Umm, right. Yes. No. Well, I dont know. Theres a shop. Over there. A Sainsburys. That might sell flowers. It's like, 10 minutes back that way and on the left.
Lady: But not here?
Me: What?
Lady: But you don't know where theres a flower shop here?
Me: Ummm. No? Not really... ummm... Sainsburys.... up the... on the ...
Lady: (Massively exasperated by my inability to assist her with her botanical needs) I only asked you because I can see that you've JUST BOUGHT FLOWERS.
Wait. Back it up Lady... I didnt buy these, I was bought them. Why would you assume that I had to buy my own flowers? What are you implying? What does this mean?
This troubled me somewhat, but was made a lot worse later at work. Lovely Brett Goldstein is a young, hunky non-canadian comedian who was also on the bill that night. As we were clearing up after the show, Lou the AP pointed to my flowers, which I had stuck in a pint of water.
Lou : Oh no... Brett's forgotten his flowers...
Me: What! THOSE ARE MY FLOWERS! WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THEY WERE BRETT'S?
Lou: Jesus...
However, its not been all bad press for flowers. There were a lot of flowers at Catherine and Rob's wedding. It was the nicest wedding I have ever been to. Here are their rings.
Thursday, 2 September 2010
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